An easy target

Something unusual happened to me last weekend.

I went to something called "The Meat Show" last Saturday, it was... bizarre. Basically it entrailled (HA!) two women dancing out a meat themed choreography. It was kind of funny, but oh so very strange. But that wasn't the most strange thing to have happened. After the show, on Lt. Bourke St., some homeless bloke shouted at me at the top of his lungs "DON'T TOUCH PEOPLE IN PUBLIC YOU DIRTY ANIMAL!!!!!!" It was quite the head-turner. Then it happened again on the corner of Burnley and Swan Sts. Some bloke leaned out of a van and called me a fucking something or other. When we tried to ignore him he got REALLY ANGRY. He belted the side of his van and yelled even louder before screeching off when the lights changed.

Finally on Sunday, we were on Brunswick St. about to cross Johnston St. when the following exchange happened:
"Hey mate, I live on the street and was wondering if you would give me a couple of dollars for food and to help me live," said a bloke in a cream tracksuit and Collingwood Football Club cap.
"Sorry bro, I've got no money on me."
"You've walked past all the ATMs, they're down there," he tells me, pointing down Brunswick St.
"Well, we came from down there," said I, pointing down Johnston St. "and there is an ATM up there too," pointing the other way up Brunswick St.
"Mate, you should at least try being honest," he dismisses me as the lights change.
"Piss off you dickhead- would you like to inspect my wallet?"

Fuck me. What did he want? A sly fifty bucks, or a loan of my credit card? From now on I'm going to buy every volume of The Big Issue, and give money to homeless people who are civil.

I think I must look like a pushover, hence the attention from drunks, goggle-eyed speedfreaks and meth-heads, and junkies.